REAL, FAKE NEWS, NOW

Vol ?, Iss ?

My apologies for the hiatus.  With the explosion in 'fake news' it has been difficult to stay out of the pack.  We try to bring a unique and fresh perspective to fake news.  Sadly that has not been possible.  Having let our principle reporters and their researchers go, we or rather I the editor have decided to take a different tack for the time being.  At least I hope so.  Satire can be so cleansing to the mind.
With this in mind we or rather I will be moving in a slightly different direction.
We will be discussing some of the more esoteric ideas being bandied about.  Actually, they aren't that new but 'a new coat of paint, a bit of air freshener' and that old heap will look good as new.  Or as Phineas T Barnum supposedly said, "There's a sucker born every minute."
So sit back and relax, have a nice beverage of choice handy, a roll or two of paper towels within reach, and a large waste can close by as we delve into the 'new age, era, millennium, tired old claptrap recycled' for a new sucker, er, audience.

WE proudly introduce:  THE MASS !!!

We pause now for a commercial advert from our dwindling list of sponsors.

      Aunt Helen's Corn Junk
          from the kitchens of Ma Holmes, CEO, 'Aunt Helen's Fixins'
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In the beginning was the MASS, and it was a mess.
We don't know for how long as the MASS did not leave any records as to the length of time, whatever that meant to the MASS, it remained a mess.
At some point IT got tired of being a mess.
IT decided to organize ITself and proceeded to revert to a mess.
After a number of attempts, again no record, it stabilized ITself and took a short break.

After awhile the MASS got to thinking about a more substantive form to take.  Since fashion magazines had not been created yet, a Cosmic Cosmo or Universes Quarterly, it played around trying various forms of which none of those intermediates survive unless of course one holds to the 'many universes' or 'parallel dimensionalities".  This is beyond the scope of all known sources of media recording at this time.
The MASS took another break.

IT decided to present ITself, in whole or in part, we aren't sure, as a self-organizing, materialistic four dimensional space-time continuum with six or seven higher dimentionalities to play with, past, present or future.  To be determined (TBD).
Having accomplished this, IT took another break.

What the MASS needed was a PLAN.  Not having a calendar, or other means of organizing, IT played around with different ideas coming up with a mnemonic device to keep track of each plan.  Since IT didn't have much else to do, IT played with a seemingly endless number of ideas.  Endless.  Without end.  ETERNITY!.  Not having a dictionary yet, the MASS decided to also organize HIS words.
The MASS took a break

And so shall we.  Stay tuned for part 2 of THE MASS.