Real, Fake News, Now!

Volume: Not So Grim, Number: Nine

Editor's Note: Geoff was previously a stringer for us.  With the Trump Administration shake up of the White House press briefings, he has been given accreditation, of sorts.  He is an official National correspondent, able to sit in on just about every presser imaginable given by the administration, including the White House, on a rotational basis.

Breaking News, Sort of

by Geoff Boggus

Today, Sean Spicer, White House press secretary, let slip the rumor of one of the former Presidents health scare was in fact true, however, he would not elaborate as to which one or the nature of the scare.  This is nothing new considering the ages of the two oldest alumni.  What is significant is a sudden news black out in the Palm Springs, Palm Desert, California area three days ago.

A colleague and fellow stringer, Jack Johansen, has provided background.  He has been conducting research for an investigative piece, soon to be published.  He had just arrived at the Palm Springs airport when he noticed two corporate jets known to be used at various times for the private travel of former Presidents.  He was able to learn two former presidents were going to be golfing at the Palm Desert Country Club, Tuesday, 1 August.  A number of celebrities, wealthy visitors, along with a flight crew member or two, had been overheard grousing about the course being closed most of the day for an 'irrigation problem'.

JJ was fairly certain who the two former presidents were, but wished to confirm and find out more between research and interviews for his piece.  He was driving around the perimeter of the course this past Tuesday, when he saw two, black SUVs tearing up what he later learned was a maintenance road toward the ninth green and tenth tee.  He was able to see people scrambling around lifting two persons from the ground and into each SUV.  He followed at a discreet distance until the SUVs split up.  The one he followed ended up at the emergency entrance for the Desert Regional Medical Center.  He guessed the other was headed to Eisenhower or Kennedy.

He drove on to Eisenhower.  Based on the activity he guessed the destination of the second SUV.  He shuttled back and forth trying to catch an EMT crew standing around waiting to be allowed back to their vehicles.  He was able to learn two males had been admitted in critical condition due to blood loss.  He later learned the former president at the regional center had been medically evacuated to Los Angeles that afternoon.  The second was evacuated that evening destination unknown .

I have tried to determine the whereabouts of the other former presidents.  No one has seen any of the five former chief executives since 9:00 am PDT, Tuesday.

Update: Sean Spicer has called a press conference with President Trump, no questions, for 8:00 pm.

Update: President Trump, "I regret to inform the nation one of our former presidents has died.  A second is in critical condition."  Press room erupts.  The president raises his hands.  "No, questions.  No, questions." The volume decreases dramatically.  "We are not providing details at this time because of national security.  We have provided extra security for the remaining three.  We have our national security services scouring the world to find out what happened, how and hopefully why.  We have very few details as the medical community is stumped at this time.  I can only ask the nation

to pray.  This administration will do its best to find answers and respond as appropriate.  All US flags will be flown at half staff until further instructed.  Thank you."

Update: Unnamed sources have indicated a former first lady has died along with a number of US citizens and foreign nationals.  A hemorrhagic fever rumor erupted overseas, but was quickly dispelled as the dead seemingly had no connections, in most cases, because of geographic disparity and known associates.

Reporter: Geoff Boggus
Researcher: Edith