Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Real, Fake News, Now!
Volume: Still Grim, Number: Two


Editor's Note: We had planned to run an old chestnut considering Joseph Biden is making an exit, stage right.  Then we decided to run another piece by Cecile Humphreys prior to her holiday.  Change of plan again, we were going to run a biographical sketch of Cecile Humphreys and Cecil Humphreys mother who at the time was under the weather.  When you're in your nineties, approaching your centenary, people like to be acknowledged now and again.  Why wait to bury them with laudatory remarks, after they are gone?
Thankfully, Lydia Q is doing better.  We'll wait one week, and give ol' Joe a rousing send off instead.

Joe 'Buy Me' Biden, the Prince of Used Cars

Author/Editor's Note:  This originally ran back when we thought Joe was done for in politics after the Neil Kinnick affair.

Joseph Biden did not originally plan to enter politics.  His great desire in life was to become 'The King of Used Cars.'  For those who have never heard of this title, it began (many) years ago.  A fellow by the name of Cal Worthington gave himself the title.  As Cal's name and self promotion spread, those occupying the rarefied air of 'used cars' began to take notice.  This was before 'pre-owned', 'certified pre-owned' cars became a marketing ploy.

Joe Biden was starting out in the game when he came across the story of Cal Worthington.  Joe was hungry, driven to succeed.  He worked on the East Coast for an additional three years getting his 'patter' down.  He studied psychology.  He also put aside money in the unlikely event he failed.  Worthington had become a legend, and not in his own mind, during Joe's years of preparation.

Finally, the day came when Joe loaded up his late model Ford and headed West.  He ended up in Sacramento.  He worked the Sacramento valley.  He would go as far as he could go with each dealership starting out in sales, working his way up.  Some thought him a 'gypsy'.  Why jump from dealership to dealership when he could have easily settled down and made good money?  His standard reply, 'I want to be the Prince of Used Cars.'  What he didn't say was, 'I want to take over as King.'

He moved into the San Joaquin valley.  He worked the coast   He ended up in the Bay area and started doing commercials for the dealership of the year.  He took the stage name Joe 'Buy Me' Biden.  It was an instant success.  He was offered partnerships.  He started to invest as silent partner while gaining greater sales numbers.  He joined civic and other notable organizations.  He networked.  He literally became the Prince of Used Cars.  He set his sites on Southern California.  He got to San Diego and immediately fit right in.  He opened his own dealership and began working toward usurping Cal Worthington in dead earnest.

Those dealerships he was a silent partner in were sold off, changed hands or shut down.  Joe came out on the plus side for the most part.  He also bought out a few of the larger lots establishing himself as a brand in those markets he had previously worked.  All that hard work was paying off.

After fifteen years, he was just about to pull the coup and move into LA when the Oil Embargo hit.  He didn't have the 'economy car' inventory Worthington had to ride it out.  He had done well.  He cut his losses.  He didn't lose that much of what he had acquired.  But he has admitted privately, it took the wind out of his sails.  He was done with car sales.  The Prince abdicated.

Biden headed back home to the East Coast, wiser and heavier in the bank account.  It was by chance that an old friend suggested he enter politics on his return.  The rest, as they say, is history.


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